The Beast

The Beast

We all know it. We all live for it. And we are all completely enslaved by it. Social media. Before I proceed, let me preface by saying that when I write “we”, I am including “me”.
This thing we all live for. Pass our time with. Whatever you want to call your involvement with social media. It’s a swirling, pixelated, perfectly edited reality show we have all created for ourselves.
I can barely remember what my life was like when I just lived for myself. And not for what the world thought of me.
Today, I can take a picture, edit the picture , write any narrative I choose, and project an image of myself that I want the world to perceive as my truth. And maybe…just maybe..if the bullshit I’m projecting is believable enough, I can start to believe it, as well.
OK. So, you’re getting a little uncomfortable right now. That’s ok. Take a breath. Relax. Cuz there’s more!
How many times during the day do I grab my phone to check my different social media pages? If I actually counted and told you the number..I’d probably cry.
For me…an addict. Social media is the perfect playground. I can be validated for any random emotion I’m experiencing..24 hours a day! “I’m feeling sad!” Retweet me, so the world knows just how sad I am.” CONSOLE ME!!
 If I’m feeling sexy, tell me how sexy I am! “Like” and “favorite” my sexiness!!
And the information I disclose…the most random, silly shit! Then I am sooooo shocked when a stranger comes up to me at the gym, asking me if that hemorrhoid I had last week is better.
And let’s not even touch on how social media has completely destroyed social graces. Ok, ok…let’s talk about it!
Can we get through a nice meal at a restaurant without “checking in”, updating our status. or photographing our actual meal??
I CAN’T!!
My boyfriend told me, “You spend so much time invested in that fantasy world. And, I found myself feeling really defensive. I am far enough along in my sober journey to realize that anything which makes me feel defensive is usually true.
And let’s not forget about the ongoing “nighttime soap operas”  we create, in the form of social media wars. WTF is that?? Today’s answer to addressing a “beef” with someone is to completely humiliate them, saying the most malevolent, vicious remarks on social media that we can think of. Involving innocent people with our “beefs”. Rallying troops. All over something that could be settled with a simple one on one conversation with a person.
I’ve been guilty of this. Admittedly. And it never fails. EVERY SINGLE TIME I engage in a social media war, I feel darkness. Like, I’ve utterly failed in my ability to grow as a human being. Aside from the fact that I feel like I lose IQ points when I participate in this childish behavior.
I don’t get it. I’m from the back east. And, I was also raised by 2nd generation Italians.
I was always raised to believe that if I am hurt or frustrated by a person’s behavior, confronting them face to face is the most healthy way to resolve it. Or, you can agree to not agree. And respectfully go your separate ways. But, at least you’ve handled it.
But again, I know people who feel empowered by social media wars. I think they are pussies. People who are too afraid to confront a person, and would rather strike out, whilst hiding behind their computer screens. Grow a pair!
So, what’s the solution to the fascination and addiction we all have with social media?
I honestly can’t give you a solution. We are all drawn to it for different reason. To promote our businesses. To validate ourselves. To be seen. To criticize and rip other people to shreds. To simply pass time. To live vicariously through others.
Social media isn’t something I plan on abstaining from. It is  something that I’m learning to put into perspective.
When I’m hanging with family and friends, keeping my phone in my pocket and being present for them…that is a start.
Continuing to share my experience, strength, and hope with addicts and alcoholics  who have less clean time than I have, helps.
Am I going to stop posting gratuitous selfies. Probably not!
I’m not that spiritually fit yet, either!
Let’s face it. Social media is here to stay. It can be a brilliant tool to promote yourself and inspire others. Or, it can be grossly thrown out of balance and consume a person’s life.
I hope I didn’t ruffle anyones feathers, considering I am posting this piece to my social media. HAHAHHAHA..
And If I did, that certainly wasn’t my intention. This is my experience. And whats mine isn’t necessarily yours.
Life is short people. And this isn’t a rehearsal. Live every moment like its your last.
xoxo
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5 thoughts on “The Beast”

  1. I love this post. I’m big on posting selfies & the other day I posted one with this comment… “I post a lot of pics of myself. But don’t be deluded in thinking that I’m vain or completely up myself. Because there is a lot of darkness underneath it all”. It’s just a reflection of who I am. I love social media. I use it as a tool to show who is really am as a person. I don’t hide behind it. I definitely used to but then I ended up I heated discussions (which resulted in the other person being really truly hateful towards me). It was at that point that I decided to stop being involved in those type of discussion. I found I was starting to become nasty like them and that’s not me. Now social media (for me) is just about connecting with positive people, family that don’t live in the same area and friends! Thank you for this post. It proved that you are growing as a person. Much love to you Nick! xoxo

    1. Thanks, Q! We are all growing. Anyone who takes the time to read my writing is on a similar path as I am. Glad we are all moving forward, together.

  2. True about it all. I have been getting busier and when I am free I tend to do something else and have work on not being in my phone so much. I am checking Instagram twice a day now and not su much with Facebook or Snapchat, which is good. I usually open Twitter to check the news but still have to work on that.

    Good post brother, glad you’re sober and past it all.

  3. I’m an admitted social junkie, in so much that I began realizing I was missing out on life’s little pleasures in lieu of getting the perfect shot or retouching it.

    For me, I started changing my strategy to be able to do both. Yes, I may take a picture of the food I’m eating, but the I put my phone away, enjoy it with my friends, then post it later when I have a few minutes.

    For me this is how I’ve begun finding balance.

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