Bad Romance

You danced your asses off to that song several years ago, when Gaga was ruling the pop universe.

But, have you ever experienced the consequences of staying in a bad romance?
Why do we continue to love someone even when we admit it is killing our soul?
Let’s talk about this for a minute…
The general reason we stay in a bad romance is because we have become so co-dependent with our partner that the “We” has become bigger than the “Me”.
Here are several recurring themes I’ve personally experienced or observed in gay relationships gone bad:
CHASING THE GHOST
“The Anxious and the Ambivalent”
Here are two men. One is madly in love. The other one can’t make up his mind if this is the right relationship for him. He flip flops over the years from “I love you” to “I just don’t know”
The more ambivalent he becomes, the more obsessive, anxious, and needy the other man grows.
Check this out, guys..
If a man you love says he’s not sure if your love is enough for him anymore…It’s time to turn the motherfucking page!
I have been on the receiving end of this mind fucking, and I fell into the typical delusion that it was all my fault.
Have you ever told yourself stuff like:
“If I just love him more, he’ll stay.”
“If I smooth out my abs and tighten my ass, he’ll regain his interest in me sexually.”
“If I change who I am, we’ll be okay.”
I’ve told myself that crazy shit more than once with several guys.
Look..We have all heard that expression:
“Rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac.”
That was clearly written by a motherfucker with low self esteem.
My truth today:
I am capable of giving love and I am worthy of receiving love in return!
If a guy I love can’t make up his mind, and he’s not sure if he is capable of loving me for the man I am right now…I am off this shit!
If I stay, he’ll continue to play head games. And I’ll continue to give my power away.
Tell me you love me. Tell me you’re leaving. Then tell me you love me again.
I’m a human being, not a fucking YoYo.
Guys. Believe it when his love is gone and don’t chase the ghost.
CLOCK OF THE HEART
“We’ve been together for so long, I can’t imagine my life without him.”
I know so many gay couples who have been together for multiple years. Even decades.
They have ceased fulfilling one another sexually. They no longer exchange romantic gestures. They are unwilling to communicate with one another on an emotional level.
Some, even deeply resent one another for a multitude of reasons they just can’t get past.
So, they are basically roommates, living under the title of, “partnered”.
Do you believe that because you have invested over a decade (or multiple years) into a relationship that you are no longer capable of standing alone or loving again?
Here’s a fact, guys:
Relationships run their course.
Even after decades.
If you are no longer fulfilling one another sexually. If you are no longer growing with, or learning from one another…The longer you stay with him, the more time that you waste.
You could be sacrificing the opportunity to meet your true soulmate because you have resigned to stay in a bad romance, with all it’s unhealthy familiarity.
There are a ton of other scenarios I could give you. The point I am getting at here is that some of us are dying in our unhealthy relationships because we don’t believe we have any other choice.
You already know deep within your heart if your current relationship is serving you or destroying you.
So, what’s it gonna be?
Continue to stay in a bad romance? Or, give ourselves a chance to stand alone? Draw power from our own personal “fire” again!
Learn to celebrate the beautiful men we all are.
Once we have truly learned to love ourselves as individuals, someone else will as well!
photo-66

2 thoughts on “Bad Romance”

  1. You’re very insightful, Nick! You sound like a very good life coach, or therapist! Maybe you should have that as another career! =}

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