So, there we were, me and my handsome prince, staring into each others eyes. I was lost. Completely in another dimension. He smiled down at me. My heart skipped a beat. I was so ready for us to start our great romantic adventure that I had forgotten that we were on a porn set and that I was about to get my ass plowed by this handsome prince. Well, I was quickly jerked out of my fantasy as CVK shoved a Fleet enema in my face and asked me if I was ready or needed to clean myself. Now, if there is anything that is going to completely ruin a perfect fairy tale moment, an enema is definitely one of them.
I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and informed him that I was more then clean, ready, and able for the scene. No Fleet would be needed.
We began filming and it went amazingly well.I know that you are probably expecting some dramatic situation to have come up, as with me, they generally do. But, the scene went well. So well, I might add, that Pascal and I continued seeing one another right on through the rest of my trip.
There is something so masculine, mature, and honest about Pascal that I find so lacking in the typical American homosexual. No need to strut and show his feathers, no need to prove himself to me. He really was everything that I could have asked for in a man, and then some.
We did a photo shoot the day after the scene with a French photographer named Pascal De'Ameyal. The photos are in the Gallery section of my web site, www.nickcapra.com  The pictures themselves, I thought, were absolutely gorgeous.
My last night in Paris I spent with Pascal. We went to dinner and then he spent the night with me in my Hotel. There were things that he said to me that no man has ever said. He told me at one point during our dinner, "It is ok, baby.You don't have to act in front of me.There are no cameras here...." It was like he was telling me that it was okay to be vulnerable.  In this world of sex work, and fuck films..Where your soul is as easily exploited as your body. To feel at ease, and to feel like it is safe to let down your guard down is a very rare moment.
Pascal allowed me that opportunity and showed me that it was not so difficult to do. I felt safe with him. I felt beautiful and secure with him. And when he spoke, I not only listened to his words, but I believed them as well.
My cab came the next morning to pick me up for the airport, and as I pulled away from the Hotel and I saw Pascal's figure walking away in the opposite direction, I cried. Something that I also seldom allow myself the luxury of doing.
How unfair the world can be. When finally I meet someone that I really liked and wanted to get to know...When finally I met someone who I could see myself getting close to and allowing myself to be open with...When finally I meet somebody who seemed to hold the key to my wild, wild heart. The universe separates me from him. My heart cried all the way home to New York, and even writing this now, it still does.

"Maybe my love will fly over the ocean, maybe my heart should try to leave him alone, all that I really know is that he's gone now, too far from Paris and too close to home..."

Talk to you later....
Nick