Strong Enough ~ Part 2 ~ From Bad to Chad...
**THIS BLOG ENTRY IS PRESENT...WRITTEN LAST NIGHT 8/11/08**
There have been so many men that have come and gone in my life. Especially over the past year..Through them all, there has been one constant variable..Chad.
Chad is somebody that I dated for awhile who kind of pulled away from the relationship due to the 'craziness' of my career. How many of you men that are not 'Industry-oriented' could stand the idea of your lover going around the country, being paid to have sex with other hot guys?
Try it for a second..it ain't easy!
Chad is 32 years old (just turned in June), 6ft4in, (taller than me) with the body of a God. He is intelligent, charismatic, sexy, successful, and most of all-loving.
My best friend, Mama, refers to him as Chadisrad.com..because Chad simply is the best.
He understands me 100%. There was never a time (believe it or not) that we were combatitive or at odds with one another in our personal lives. He just couldn't accept me not being monogamous in the relationship. (due to me work)
When he broke up with me I was devastated. I have never experienced anything so pure and hot and bonding as I did with Chad. We have remained friends and I would be lying if I didn't say that I was still waiting for him to return to me. I would be lying if I said I didn't compare every man I dated to Chad. I have dated and had some hot affairs with some amazing men, but all have paled in his shadow.
My Birthday recently past on August 1st and Chad met me and my friends out dancing. We danced and laughed and I don't know what came over me..maybe I felt entitled because it was my Birthday..but I leaned in and kissed him. It was as if time stood still. His lips on mine for that brief moment brought forth all the love that I had for him..all the hot sex we had...all the good times we had shared..he pulled away first..I could see the shock in his eye. I knew he had been avoiding that with me..avoiding the pain that my lifestyle had brought him, but there was no denying it. Since then we have been out a few times..We spent Sunday together at Cityfest and dinner out tonight.
I know that I have made some bad choices with some good men..I know that I have made some good decisions leaving some bad men..But keeping Chad alive in my heart is the one choice I know that was not good, not bad, just right...
I'll hit you guys up after I return from shooting for Falcon on Friday!
xoxo,
N.-
There have been so many men that have come and gone in my life. Especially over the past year..Through them all, there has been one constant variable..Chad.
Chad is somebody that I dated for awhile who kind of pulled away from the relationship due to the 'craziness' of my career. How many of you men that are not 'Industry-oriented' could stand the idea of your lover going around the country, being paid to have sex with other hot guys?
Try it for a second..it ain't easy!
Chad is 32 years old (just turned in June), 6ft4in, (taller than me) with the body of a God. He is intelligent, charismatic, sexy, successful, and most of all-loving.
My best friend, Mama, refers to him as Chadisrad.com..because Chad simply is the best.
He understands me 100%. There was never a time (believe it or not) that we were combatitive or at odds with one another in our personal lives. He just couldn't accept me not being monogamous in the relationship. (due to me work)
When he broke up with me I was devastated. I have never experienced anything so pure and hot and bonding as I did with Chad. We have remained friends and I would be lying if I didn't say that I was still waiting for him to return to me. I would be lying if I said I didn't compare every man I dated to Chad. I have dated and had some hot affairs with some amazing men, but all have paled in his shadow.
My Birthday recently past on August 1st and Chad met me and my friends out dancing. We danced and laughed and I don't know what came over me..maybe I felt entitled because it was my Birthday..but I leaned in and kissed him. It was as if time stood still. His lips on mine for that brief moment brought forth all the love that I had for him..all the hot sex we had...all the good times we had shared..he pulled away first..I could see the shock in his eye. I knew he had been avoiding that with me..avoiding the pain that my lifestyle had brought him, but there was no denying it. Since then we have been out a few times..We spent Sunday together at Cityfest and dinner out tonight.
I know that I have made some bad choices with some good men..I know that I have made some good decisions leaving some bad men..But keeping Chad alive in my heart is the one choice I know that was not good, not bad, just right...
I'll hit you guys up after I return from shooting for Falcon on Friday!
xoxo,
N.-
Hey Nick!!
I hope you find the right person, I think love is always very hard to find no matter what you do, either working on porn or selling houses...
But I believe that if you really want to commit yourself into a relationship with someone, sooner or later you will find it.
Great to see this part of yourself.
Greetings.
Rafa.
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